Perfectionism and Anxiety

In my work as a professional energy healer, my main clientele is overworked, overstressed women with a high degree of anxiety. Since I’ve worked with so many women in this category, I’ve been able to draw some conclusions about the source of their anxiety.

The underlying cause is perfectionism. As women, we play so many “roles”, often an employee or business owner, a wife, a mother and of course the role of a woman. We have societal pressures, plus our own inherent belief structure about how to perform each one of these roles the “right way.” We put immense pressure on ourselves to be the best at everything, to live up to external and internal measures of success.

We’re all supposed to eat healthy, get enough exercise, take time for self-care, be the best in business and rise in the ranks in our career, be a great wife, a great lover, a great friend. You should be feeding your kids that food, but not that food. You should make sure your kids are participating in enough extracurriculars to broaden their horizons, but not so many that they are overstressed.

There is no way one person can carry this mental load, carry this much pressure and live an anxiety free life. This is why women need my help so badly – they aren’t able to just BE themselves and feel free to pursue what feels right, to play by their own rules. They feel compelled to do everything and to do it perfectly.

The interesting counter-issue I see with my male clients is apathy, a feeling of not being present, or a total lack of motivation. Men feel the pressure of perfectionism just as much, but instead of trying to do everything and be everything, they disassociate and “check out.” If they can’t do it right, why do it at all?

There is no perfect. Stop doing the things that you truly don’t want to do. Say “no” to things. Stop taking so much on. Ask for help. Know that you are whole, complete and perfect. Love yourself the way you are.